God hates divorce, have you ever wondered why?
In our modernized culture divorce has been portrayed as something that works out for the best for everyone involved. In fact, you can simply get tired of your spouse and file for irreconcilable differences. “We just didn’t get along or we just outgrew each other”! And the, “we” becomes a selfish I. Yes, we have become a culture that is; a me, myself and I driven society. Therefore, many couples go into a marriage thinking, what will I get out of this marriage. Very seldom are people today going into a marriage union thinking about, what can I bring to the marriage. In marriage there is a degree of individuality and freedom, but not total independence and autonomy. We get married because we want to be inter-reliant to some degree and have a deeper accountability and answerability to someone whom God has chosen for us. However, there is one malevolent diabolical force hovering around and nearby every marriage, and his name is the devil. The devil hates harmony; therefore, he despises marriage. He loves to influence the minds of those who come together in holy matrimony hoping to sow discord. There is no marriage and I mean no marriage that is not tested. Trials and tribulation comes with the saying of, “I do”.
Nonetheless, many say their wedding vows yet they detached them from the reality of the marital amalgamation. The vows and the marriage ought to be synonymous. So most couples say their vows frivolously and thoughtlessly, “for better and for worst”. Do we truly know exactly what that really means? “For better and for worst”. It doesn’t say, “for better or for worst”. Instead it says “For better and for worst”. Saying this is much easier than living it out. Many can agree with the, “for better” we all love that part. This is when the marriage has what I call the big three working on all cylinders. You might ask the question, what in the world are the big three? Well, for starters, they are those things that most couples divorce over, finances, communication and sex. However, when these three areas of the marriage are in tact, the for better part can work. Nevertheless, on the contrary when these three things are not in order, trouble can and will easily seep in. It comes in sidle at first, then the floods, the winds and the storms come. And if your marriage is not founded on the rock, great will be the fall of your household. Any marriage that is erected with a sandy foundation will take a sudden downward spiral. Yet, this still becomes the part of the vows that are being tested, this is the part of the vows when we say, “and for worst”. Many forget that they said, "for better and for worst". Yet, for worst does not equal divorce, but it does signal that your marriage needs immediate support and good godly counsel. When things get worst, they are only for the testing and for the trying of our faith. Please don’t count this as strange. When things are bad in a marriage, there is a root to every problem. There is also a way couples can draw near to God in and during those tempestuous storms.
One major drawback is going into the marriage with a fairytale mentality. This only leads to a couple being more eager and willing to throw in the towel when things are going in the direction of getting worst. Every couple should ask the question daily; why did I get married in the first place? And if your only answer to this question is; “because I love him or her”, then you should reevaluate the meaning of love. Love suffers love and is kind.
Many couples walk away from marriage still loving each other; but they just couldn’t live or coexist under the same roof, so they split up. This is rather childish and immature. This is like the neighborhood kid who is the only one who has a basketball. He lets everyone plays until he loses. Yes, when he loses he takes his basketball and flees. He says by his actions, if I can’t win or play, then no one will. Many people claim their rights to adulthood by their age number, but it doesn’t reflect in their level of maturity and reasoning. Marriage is part of our spiritual growth and God uses it to sanctify us and to grow us to be conformed to image of His Son-Jesus.
If you leave your marriage today, do you think that your life is going to be better? On the contrary, your life will not get better. Although some pretend that life is better. Most people who divorce will never talk about the tears, and hurt that they experience, around holiday’s, birthday’s and the list goes on. Divorce can almost feel like bereavement, with the only difference being, you may still see that ex-spouse from time to time yet without finding closure. Deep hurt and anguish is often going on inside ones’ heart.
In fact, you will leave to only realize how lonely, guilty, angry, bitter and regretful that you didn’t try to stay and work harder at protecting the covenant that you agreed to keep before God and many witnesses. No one gets marriage hoping that it will end in a divorce. Yet, there are many who get married who listen to the wrong people. If you have friends who advise you to get a divorce because of the first, second or even third disagreement or argument you have in your marriage, then they are not friends at all.
We don’t need more children in the middle of a firestorm of two adults who can’t see eye to eye. If you love your mate, you should be willing to work at any cost to keep your marriage. If you’re thinking, you don’t understand my mate, it’s really bad. Well, I can tell you that they didn’t just get this way overnight, it was always there from the beginning, but fairytale and desperate love blinds one from reality. We know that dating is blind, but marriage is twenty-twenty. In marriage you see the good, bad and ugly in a person. However, in today’s society we tend to get tired of and get rid of people too quickly. We begin to amplify our spouse’s bad qualities and minimize their good. The other side of divorce is a harsh reality and you need to stop and think. “Am I going to let Satan win”? The devil would love to see another marriage fail, he hates marriage.
Marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ, the Groomsman and His Bride the Church. Jesus would never divorce the church, whom He purchased with His own blood. Nor would He stop loving us because we have failures, shortcomings, faults and idiosyncrasies. Marriage is an extension of God’s grace, none of us deserves a mate, it is God’s mercies, and Him loading us daily with benefits. All the trouble that some of us went through to get a mate and now we are willing to say it’s over over a few troubling times. Get real!
If you are contemplating to leave your marriage STOP, it’s an acronym for: (Stay put, Trust God, Obey the Holy Spirit and Pray without ceasing). And if you are that person who don’t know the Lord this is a good time for you to cry out to Him and ask Him to save you.
Nonetheless, if you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit indwelling you, He will lead and guide you into all truth. If you are convicted by the Holy Spirit today because you re contemplating leaving your marriage, God is trying to get your attention. This is the Lord telling you, to stay the course, weather the storm. He will walk with you in your shadow of death, and be your rod and staff. Our King and Savior can shepherd you through this tumultuous season. Keep in mind it’s only a season. In our weakness His strength is made perfect but when we submit to our weaknesses and not lean on the Lord this is when we make bad emotional driven decisions.
No one said it would be easy in marriage, but you will have and can gain great victory on the other side, both for you and your spouse. You can grow closer to the Lord, closer to each other and be that good godly example that your precious children need to see. God hates divorce!
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
As long as you are alive, you can work out your marriage and it will honor God, who is the Originator of Covenant.